"Defense Mechanism"

In the movie the day the earth stood still, there was a robot that only activated in the presence of violence. When violence erupts, its activate as well. The robot comes to the intended victim's distress and protects them from harm. I have just realized my defense mechanism is anger. Very bad move on my part. Whenever my emotions feel threatened, my anger automatically kicks in to protect me. When I am angry, I am inconsolable, aggressive, productive, violent. An overall danger to myself and others. Though these things are often promoted by others as tools, my use is strictly as a weapon. I use these things to defend myself and I will use any means necessary to do just that, even if it means physical contact with others, i.e., fighting. Also another bad move by me.

Last night I had this realization because God sent my bestfriend to remind me of a biblical story that I am all too familiar with. Now, she began to chastise me and give me her version of what the story means, and to my emotions, she did it in an aggressive way that threatened them. So of course, my anger activated and I immediately began to get irritated and I wanted to defend myself. But instead of doing that, because I was thinking to myself that's just the enemy, I decided not to speak at all and I told her good night and went in the house before any other dangerous action was performed, because I could feel it coming.

I don't think God is always trying to chastise you if you get out of line, I think sometimes God catches you as you fall and welcomes u with open arms like the prodical son. My best friend presented the story to me as if God is angry with me. But I don't that's the message he wanted to send. I have felt distracted lately and I need direction. The story speaks of a storm and how Jesus disciples were uneasy about it. They began to become so afraid they awake Jesus and demanded he do something about the storm. Jesus rose and told the storm, "Chill out, I'm trying to sleep!"Ok no, that's not really what Jesus said. He said, "Peace be still." He than began to chastise his disciples and said "oh ye of little faith." He told the disciples many things and his point was, how can you be worried about some storm when you have gone through much worse? How can you stand in fear when I have been with you through everything else, just as I sit now beside you in this boat?

For me, that storm is like my environment right now. There are things taking away from my focus on God and my goals because it has some pleasure to it, while others seems like nothing is working out as planned. God wanted to remind me that he is simply, but profoundly that; God. Do not let the things around you deter you from believing you will not reach your destination. Do not let temptation distract you from what's rightfully yours. Have faith in me and that I will direct your path, even in the midst of a storm. Have faith in me that I will be the lamp unto your feet and I will show you the way. You asked me for direction, well here I am, directing you. Now all that's left to do is follow me. Just follow me. Just simply, follow me. Yes you are of little faith, but all children are. All it takes is one step on that staircase, even if you can't see where it leads. Because faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. All I ask is you have faith in me. I can show you wonders, just have faith in Me.